Saturday, December 20, 2008

12:46 PM

ah emoing all over again!!!!! Ok I'm seriously sick of my mood swings. I hate them!!!!One second I'm so happy and skipping here and there, the next second I'm throwing tantrums at every little thing!!! Shit, man!!! GAHHHHHH fuck this mood swing. I don't wanna have mood swings all over again!!!!!! Just see, next few hours I'll be happy and loving everyone all over again.

2 days ago, I cried in my sleep. In the morning, I got a terrible cold. It's not really terrible but the feeling it gives you suck. Even those sleeping and numbing meds don't give this horrible feeling. My throat feels like it's sandpaper in need of water. I drank water, and from sandpaper it becomes a desert. Yesterday night I took a panadol and hoped for recovery. Unfortunately, I'm still having it....

But today wasn't so bad. Due to my mood swings, I realised something I've been so stupid to not know until now. I don't belong in this family. I've felt this emotion before but not like this. Even if I erase myself, everything can still go on. Nobody talked to me if I don't talk to them. Nobody wants to be near me. It's been the same for years. I'm left out and nobody will want me. Sometimes I try to think "no that's not it" but it IS it.

I don't belong here and I never will, at least until my mood swing turns itself and I'm back to "happy happy skippedy skip" girl all over again. I want to leave this place but I can't until university. Will my mood swing last till then?

Stop this craze. I don't want to be living like this anymore. Somebody fuck this thing out of itself. I can't control myself anymore. Is this Alvin or is this just me? I don't care and I don't wanna know, I just wanna life that I can understand.

*About Me

The name is Shafiqah.
I may not be liked, but am definitely loved.
I no longer give a damn to people of different views from me.
The people of the same views with me are loved.
I have big dreams and a big confidence to achieve it.

*My desires

~Watch Gokusen Movie and Coraline in the movies
~Get at least 1 Gothic Lolita suit
~Finish my list of "After O levels"
~Remove all my pimples
~Lose 10kg by January, 31st
~Get The BEST Of Aqua Timez Album
~Form a band

*My Music

Aqua Timez - Saigo Made

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

*My Friends

*Christin the Sotong
*Jue Ying the Mole
*DarkEmoPrincess1310 the MonkeH
*XiaoXing the Piggy
*Abel the BearBear
*CuteLove AKA Stephanie the Penguin
*Junichi The Hammy
*Caroline the Tiger Turtle
*Ye Jia the Froggie
*Dini the Cat

+2E2
+3 Emerald
+Esther
+Sherrie
+my previous blog
+Celeste
+Weilin
+Ruiyi
+Nur Shahiddah Ain
+Azmee
+Szemin
+Ira
+Genevieveee
+Chocolate Bunnies From Hell
+Sameen
+Dhania
+Joeyx3
+A I N kecygg
+Gerlyn
+WeiWei
+Gwendolyn
+Jessie
+Atique Vanilla

*My Story

April 2007 l May 2007 l June 2007 l July 2007 l August 2007 l September 2007 l October 2007 l November 2007 l December 2007 l January 2008 l February 2008 l March 2008 l April 2008 l May 2008 l June 2008 l July 2008 l August 2008 l September 2008 l October 2008 l November 2008 l December 2008 l January 2009 l February 2009 l April 2009 l May 2009 l June 2009 l July 2009 l August 2009 l September 2009 l October 2009 l November 2009 l December 2009 l January 2010 l February 2010 l March 2010 l April 2010 l May 2010 l July 2010 l

*Tagboard

*My Thanks To

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[picture]: [x]
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