Monday, December 29, 2008

9:34 PM

I wrote something totally sugar-coated to Dini's blog and I think she'll say/think I'm just some woman who says lies but I mean it so I don't care what people think :D I'm glad I said it coz I mean every fucking shit I said ^^

Ah just watched Shibatora's last episode! Cried a lot, like always xD Well, it was nice (: I thought about it and think about what this world is becoming. Trust is disappearing, truth's kept in the darkness and so much more~ This song rang in my head... This is a part of the song..



Sometimes I wish I could save you, and there are so many things I wanna let you realise. When you're struggling and can't get up, I just wanna reach out my hand and grab you. If you need help and call me, I wanna run to you and embrace you and tell you it'll be ok coz I'm here with you and that's all you need to know. But I can only really do it when you let me. I can only do it when you believe in me. Believe in me, because I have cried and shed the same pain as you. Believe in me, because I'm one you can trust. Believe in me, because from there you can start believing in yourself. If only you would believe in me.....

To all who have been hurt,
To all who have suffered and stumbled,
To everyone whose lives were changed.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

10:22 PM

I did aminor hair extensions today~~ Guess what colour it is? Pink!!! Yeah, it's pink babehh~~ And a gist of purple ;D But so sad, Thursday I have to take it off liao T.T NOOOOOO~~~~

Today, went to GAZILLION places!!!

So at 12, we took the bus and reached at Bukit Merah at 2 something for some warehouse sale. But such a pity, the warehouse sale sucked big time!!!! There's NOTHING for me to buy. What a bummer!

Then we went to Alexandra and reached at 3 for another warehouse sale. Guess what? It sucked too! Ugh I should choose the warehouses we go to next time!!! But this one wasn't so bad, some stuff were nice? But they're all for men =.="

Then we went City Plaza and got lunch. At this point of time, my mood went from "LION! RAWR! NO TOUCHY ME!!" to "Let's play~ Wee~ Hehe~" after lunchtime xD Then I got new earpieces and hair extensions :D And I didn't spend a cent! I rule, right? Well, I DO have to save $118 for the maroon cloak for cosplaying next year~

Then went to Muslimedia thingy and bought Madrasah stuff for my siblings. Everybody was staring at my pink hair and I'm like "It even looks fake! Stop thinking I dyed my hair!!" Then went home and reached at 8. Took a shower, ta dah, here I am blogging!

Tommorow I'm going to study with Hammy, Beaver and Shi Jui~ Whee let's hope we really study. Maa, since Shi jui is there I can rest assured we will ^_^ I'll upload the photos tomorrow. I'm gonna sleep and wake up early tomorrow~ Nights!!!

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

7:40 PM

So today, I went to this course thingy by Bukit Panjang Govt. It was ok. Actually, I thought it was going to be horrible like ever other Malay Lit event but no, this one was ok. Like alwys, I was mostly alone since I don't have any close friends in Malay Lit class but I prety much learnt a lot.

I did some work at the end and slacked most of the time. It was okay la, but it was from 8-5 sia!!!! Omg, how I wish I could be at home doing the stuff I normally do at home!! Oh well, it was fun and educational so I'll let it slide xD

I saw that Sabrina girl today. She's the Madonna in my primary school, and she went to Bukit Panjang govt. What else do you expect from her? But I can't blame her, she's just perfectly-built. Maybe I'm just jealous =/
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oh yeah, you guys heard the fact about DanDan's bro Jon and friend Denise just break off with her like that?? It's so stupid! I couldn't really say it but I think they're damn stupid man! I mean, how can you just say "bye" to your friend like that. Excuse me!!! Your friend has a heart, you should at least try and not hurt her, since you're her friend!

Friend is a big word! It's someone you can hold on to when you can't alone. And what does this "friend" do when she feels like something's off? OH, say "bye, I'm done with you. Get lost and I don't ever wanna see you again". WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT IS THAT?!

Listen! When you become one's friend, you vow to help her through thick and thin. YOU will be the one when she needs a shoulder to cry on. And YOU will be the one to support her when she's all alone and broken. If you don't wanna shoulder this burden, then better think in your hard-skulled brain before you get a friend!

I'm just so damn pissed with these inconsiderate people! I treat my friends the best that I can, if I can't then I'm sorry and I'll try to be better! I swear I'll try to be better and try to be the best friend you can ever imagine. Trust me and I'll trust you back. Be my friend and I'll befriend you back. So what are you when you just throw a friend like that as if they're disposables? I'm sorry, but I can't take that. That's just way too much, insolent scum!

Monday, December 22, 2008

1:29 PM

So I went to watch soccer yesterday and it was so sucky!!!!! gaahhhhhhh, ok xD The whole National Stadium was full you know. And then we lost!!! Ahhh what the fish sia!!! Actually it has been years since I watched live football so I was damn blurr a lot xD But had a lot of fun.

I'm sort of born for this thing, so it was pretty fun still. Vietnam won Singapore by a point. Actually, S'pore can win by A LOT of points but Vietnam's goalkeeper was so darn good sia!!!!!! Grrr but anyways, cool match xD

The funny part was when Vietnam said bodoh to S'pore! So funny!!!! I was laughing my ass off there. They either said bodoh or buto la, then my mom was like "Wah, they learn fast!"

Nothing much to say la, I reached at 12 at home and went to sleeeeep.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

12:46 PM

ah emoing all over again!!!!! Ok I'm seriously sick of my mood swings. I hate them!!!!One second I'm so happy and skipping here and there, the next second I'm throwing tantrums at every little thing!!! Shit, man!!! GAHHHHHH fuck this mood swing. I don't wanna have mood swings all over again!!!!!! Just see, next few hours I'll be happy and loving everyone all over again.

2 days ago, I cried in my sleep. In the morning, I got a terrible cold. It's not really terrible but the feeling it gives you suck. Even those sleeping and numbing meds don't give this horrible feeling. My throat feels like it's sandpaper in need of water. I drank water, and from sandpaper it becomes a desert. Yesterday night I took a panadol and hoped for recovery. Unfortunately, I'm still having it....

But today wasn't so bad. Due to my mood swings, I realised something I've been so stupid to not know until now. I don't belong in this family. I've felt this emotion before but not like this. Even if I erase myself, everything can still go on. Nobody talked to me if I don't talk to them. Nobody wants to be near me. It's been the same for years. I'm left out and nobody will want me. Sometimes I try to think "no that's not it" but it IS it.

I don't belong here and I never will, at least until my mood swing turns itself and I'm back to "happy happy skippedy skip" girl all over again. I want to leave this place but I can't until university. Will my mood swing last till then?

Stop this craze. I don't want to be living like this anymore. Somebody fuck this thing out of itself. I can't control myself anymore. Is this Alvin or is this just me? I don't care and I don't wanna know, I just wanna life that I can understand.

Thursday, December 18, 2008

9:30 PM

Yeah i'm blogging again! I just realised how I love ranting~!!! Oh yeah before that, let's reply to the tags!

FROGGY: sure will!

jun:ehh, reject huh? xD see la u nvr go EOY... should go, can bully Beaver alot a lot tt day xD

XiaoXing: lol i c u i c u, there there got your name one? xD

ok done... xD haha I love ranting! Maybe I should make a ranting video just like nigahiga's... I can even rant about ranting!!! ahhhh okok back to the REAL topic....

what would you do if one day, you decided to let your other self break loose and realise that other self mihgt be real? As in, he might really be someone that is not you but is stuck in the same body as your are and has the same brain?

One night I decided to let my Sis talk to Alvin. And guess what? He came out!!! HE seriously did, and he talked and talked and then I sort of gained control then I was like... "I have no idea why I say like that!" I mean, I know what he said and all, but how he said it, why he said it is nothing of my control! I don't even know why those words came out of my mouth... okay, too weird =/

but whatever! I'm a girl and this body is girlish, so it's my body and he can't control it, for now... xD
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ever felt like something inside you is happening yet you dunno what? Ok, I am 94.6% sure that I have this. I know I'm insane and crazy, but I am that sure that I have this... why?
1) I went through most of other disorders and they are nothing about what I'm going through
2)I took about.... 10 quizzes and all of them seems to tell me "yes, you have it! You're crazy!"
3)I know I'm at least half crazy coz I have cut myself and I'm fighting to keep clean
4) I don't want this!!! When you seriously think you're crazy, it's a different situation than when you wanted to. You try to watch yourself and proof that you're not, but you just keep doing what it says.

It's stupid but yeah I tried to stop or change myself but it might make me more crazy than I already am so instead, I'll put it up here :DD If you think I don't have it, then THANK GOD I'M NOT CRAZY! If you think I do, then just keep quiet about it (:

People with BPD often have highly unstable patterns of social relationships. They may form an immediate attachment and idealize the other person, but when a slight separation or conflict occurs, they switch unexpectedly to the other extreme and angrily accuse the other person of not caring for them at all. Even with family members, individuals with BPD are highly sensitive to rejection, reacting with anger and distress to such mild separations as a vacation, a business trip, or a sudden change in plans. These fears of abandonment seem to be related to difficulties feeling emotionally connected to important persons when they are physically absent, leaving the individual with BPD feeling lost and perhaps worthless. Suicide threats and attempts may occur along with anger at perceived abandonment and disappointments.

Well now that I think about it, I feel better now since some of the symptoms seems to "fade away" but they come back >.> Crazy person... xD

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

11:25 AM

Life sucks when people tell you what to do!

Ok editting of my photos are done! But uhm, Qiao Hao's photos are going to be editted soon xD on the meantime, enjoy mine! omg I rejected 76 photos man!!!If you wanna put my pictures somewhere, go ahead but please credit me and link this blog okays? :D As we wait for the photos to be uploaded, let's see what happened!

So we (Elsie, Qiao Hao and me) met at 11, aiming to study and then enter the EOY'08 ;D so we reached at 11..... just to buy the ticks took us 1hr =.=" There was this religious ceremony, so we saw this monk. I was like, "wahh monk also like cosplay!" but not! xD there were just too many people, so Qiao Hao and I bought instant noodles and relak one corner eat xD The malay style! haha so after that, we got in and glommed all over the cosplayers!

We entered the festival at 1? So we checked out everything. My lovers were all there!!! I didn't know I love these characters until I saw the cosplayers and kyaaa at them xD Well, I naturally love Urahara Keisuke, I love Byakuya. Byakuya is like my ultimate lover =.= so anw, took loads of pics. Then we relak one corner again, watch avatar on my player and waited for Dini and her friends to arrive.

When they reached, we roamed everywhere again. We practically attacked everyone!! Attacking was so fun! And the cosplayers were so nice xD I loved it when Edward Elric "stepped" the commander!!! Edward was like "xDD i dun wanna do this" but all of the cosplay attackers are ready to attack him xD I also loved the noahs, when they entered, they were attacked by about 50 people including us, and they couldn't move a single step from the entrance!

so then the cosplaying competition begins! Super awesome!!! Did I tell you how awesome the Bakaninjas were? MEGA ULTRA AWESOME!!! I was recording the whole thing and my hands were shaking because of their awesomeness xD and I'm not even a naruto fan. after that was some other. I can't remember much xD I know there's Haruhi Team. They danced the all-time favourite hare hare yukai dance, haruhi was a bit too violent to me ><" I'm a huge haruhi fan so I was a bit =/ when I saw the violence xD but overall, it was okok. during the competition, dandan popped by so we watched tgt xD then aft that, dini met up again with us. then we got bored and left at abt 6 (: So the entrance fee was $12, and we spent 5 hrs there.... quite worth it?Yeah, and taking the awesome pictures made it priceless! Then Qiao Hao and I went Mac and did out usual thing, but in a much less duration! We talked about the EOY and a bit of SS xD then I went home and thanked my mom for letting me go... coz we had a HUGE fight just because I can't get out of the house. I was super damn mega ultra giga pissed!!! I mean, I go out once a week =.=! what shit are you telling me that I'm going out too much. UGHHHHHH I can't wait till school reopens, then I can just stay back everyday!!!

But wait, there's O lvls next yr T.T and napfa again >.> kamisama, tasu kete!!!! kyaaa and I'm cosaplaying as ******* next yr!!! Damn shit, I have to upgrade my brain!!!!

okok, my ranting is done so here are the photos! sorry for the horrible photos. I had to use the crappy 5 megapixels camera =.= I tried my best to edit it so yeah, here it goes! like always, all the editted photos are in the slideshow but I'll upload some favourites.


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Now playing: Tohoshinki - Doshite Kimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimattan Darou?
via FoxyTunes

Monday, December 15, 2008

7:49 PM

I was surfing at sgcafe/sgclub and I stumbled up upon something that intrigues me... Cosfucking... Now what is it? I disagree with ALOT of definitions, but this one seems to get my full support...



Generally, cosfuck means 'your cosplay is bad, go and die!'. Right thing to do? Well, there is this rule in peaceful Singapore, don't so kay poh! Who cares if they look bad? Hey, you have no right to say this particular person does not have the right to cosplay, mean person!

I've seen some cosplayers who don't look as good as others, but hey who are you to say "fuck off coz you look bad!!!"? If they wanna cosplay, it's their right to. Cosplaying doesn't mean you HAVE to look exactly like the character! If you like the character, then go for it! That's what cosplaying is all about. Don't cosplay just because you look like the character =.=

I did that mistake, to cosplay only who I look like. But that's not cosplaying. People who blame others for cosplaying are the ones who should go and die!!!!! And I did talk bad about this lady who's 30+/40+ and is cosplaying as haruhi suzumiya, but I realised it's her life. Who am I to say she sucks?

As if I am a prodigy at everything!

Saturday, December 13, 2008

10:28 PM

went to EOY today. Gonna give the full report tmr, since it's 10.30 and my legs hurt, my eyes are super heavy and yeah, i need sleep! xD but well something triggered me to reminisce (fyi, it can mean emoing too xD)

Guess who i saw in EOY? You can say, my ex-good friend? Hmm, i wondered what it would be like if we still were friends. It'd be cool! One more jap-lover friend xD I admit la, I was a bit of an asshole when I first entered Dunearn. But that's what sec sch is abt. You get hurt, you get up and get stronger! When I first met her, I was like, "Japanese? What's so cool about that?" What do you expect of someone who has no idea what anime and manga is xD but I started watching Ouran, then got addicted. I guess I was stereotypical, but not anymore!

To my ex-good friend,

It's not like I want to bring back the past, but we're graduating next yr. It'd be nice to graduate with no hard feelings (: I had the idea of giving you a fake gun prop as a make-up present but maybe it's just better this way. When you started to turn away, everybody else did the same. and I'm left with hardly anything. but that's ok, since I found new friends. I found a better me, someone who cared what others think about herself.

It's not like you're going to read this but, if I did anything to you. I'm sorry. If I were mean and hurt you, I'm sorry. I am not the person I was anymore, I am not proud of someone I was. I was arrogant and I didn't care what others felt about me but I'm not anymore. It's ok if you still wanna stay away from me and it's ok if you still think the same way, but I sincerely apologise. I didn't know and I was such an idiot. If only you and me didn't have this fight and we'd be going to cosfests and events together, sharing the same hobby.

I guess it just wasn't meant to be (:

-pUnkrOckIngEEk

Thursday, December 4, 2008

9:43 PM

Today was syiok! Once again, we raided Qiao Hao's condo and did siao stuff man!!! Ok here's our journey.

Well, Dini and me sort of reached at the same time, so I called Qiao Hao to tell us we're on our way and took the train~! Then when we reached, I was like, WHERE'S QIAO HAO?!!! Lol so Dini and I waited, and waited, AND WAITED then she come. She was like, Wahh ur all so fast =.=" It's not us, it's the train...

So anw, we raided the Games Room which is super awesome!!! I love the snooker table!!! AHHH I'm so buying it in future!!! Then it was much bigger than the KTV room we went to last week. So we got comfy and moved the furniture here and there, then we watched Cartoon KAT-TUN Cosplay Episode~! So cute la, even I didn't laugh as much as they did xD We wanted to go swimming but then it kept raining! So we waited~

Played dozens of snooker matches with Coach QH and Rival Dini xDD And hey, I can play both left-handed and right-handed way! Yeah~!! xD Beat Coach twice, and Dini every time I played with her xD We decided to one-on-one while Coach watch Vampire Knight Guilty and it took 20 mins just to shoot ONE BALL EACH in the hole =.= How noob are we? xD But anw, I won! Yay,haha xD Well, but I can hardly beat Coach (or can't!)

Then we kanna by the person who booked the room (who's late 1 by 1 hr!!) and tried to infiltrate the multi purpose rm when the real bookers took us out 5 mins after =.=! Anw, then we go Mac and eat~!!! I was hungry so I wanna eat double cheeseburger, but I thought later QH and Dini will get hungry so I just bought the upsized Student's Meal! Ended up I couldn't finish it!^_^" hehe, then we see the sky. It's not raining!

So we rushed to the condo back again and jumped into our swimsuits and plop ourselves in the pool. Ahh so fun, played it for 1.5-2 hrs then roughly wash ourselves. Then took our bags and leave. Well, I saw QH's bro today. Pretty weird guy 0.o I looked and I was like, 0_o|| He was half naked and totally.... weird looking? xD But what can I say, he's in his house anw! xD

Crazy day! But had 120% fun! Planning to go next week too~! I was thinking to ask Siyi but, maybe she'll reject =//
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Anw, pics for the AFA'08 are done editting by moi~! They're not so gd ok, since I got tired coz they're so many photos =.= but I has fun trying all types of thingys... So check it out! All the selected photos are in the slideshow but I'll upload some favourites!

*About Me

The name is Shafiqah.
I may not be liked, but am definitely loved.
I no longer give a damn to people of different views from me.
The people of the same views with me are loved.
I have big dreams and a big confidence to achieve it.

*My desires

~Watch Gokusen Movie and Coraline in the movies
~Get at least 1 Gothic Lolita suit
~Finish my list of "After O levels"
~Remove all my pimples
~Lose 10kg by January, 31st
~Get The BEST Of Aqua Timez Album
~Form a band

*My Music

Aqua Timez - Saigo Made

MySpace Playlist at MixPod.com

*My Friends

*Christin the Sotong
*Jue Ying the Mole
*DarkEmoPrincess1310 the MonkeH
*XiaoXing the Piggy
*Abel the BearBear
*CuteLove AKA Stephanie the Penguin
*Junichi The Hammy
*Caroline the Tiger Turtle
*Ye Jia the Froggie
*Dini the Cat

+2E2
+3 Emerald
+Esther
+Sherrie
+my previous blog
+Celeste
+Weilin
+Ruiyi
+Nur Shahiddah Ain
+Azmee
+Szemin
+Ira
+Genevieveee
+Chocolate Bunnies From Hell
+Sameen
+Dhania
+Joeyx3
+A I N kecygg
+Gerlyn
+WeiWei
+Gwendolyn
+Jessie
+Atique Vanilla

*My Story

April 2007 l May 2007 l June 2007 l July 2007 l August 2007 l September 2007 l October 2007 l November 2007 l December 2007 l January 2008 l February 2008 l March 2008 l April 2008 l May 2008 l June 2008 l July 2008 l August 2008 l September 2008 l October 2008 l November 2008 l December 2008 l January 2009 l February 2009 l April 2009 l May 2009 l June 2009 l July 2009 l August 2009 l September 2009 l October 2009 l November 2009 l December 2009 l January 2010 l February 2010 l March 2010 l April 2010 l May 2010 l July 2010 l

*Tagboard

*My Thanks To

[design]: [x]
[picture]: [x]
[thanks]: [x] [x] [x] [x] [x]