Sunday, October 28, 2007
6:10 PM
emo-ing again T_T
ok so I'm being emo, and felt like **ehem ehem** which has been A LONG TIME since I felt so. Not because of school or anything. Because, my step-uncle is... angry at me? Yeah... I just got news from my mom on friday he's mad like siao at me because I called him names. I was like.. seriously?? When?? My mom was like maybe I said it was a joke or something to my step-cuzzie, I said he had a big mouth. I don't know, maybe I did. Forgot about it lar. Then my mom said he's super angry at me and broke ties with me, my mom, my aunties, my uncles, my grandparents, etc etc... I was like... WHAT?! Then I just broke down and cried. 0.o I oso dono y I cried, but I did. And so heartily, that my breaths sounded screechy. Then I kept crying. Coz, I dono. I feel so... unwanted and unneeded. Some more a burden. I was crying. I remembered my past when I gave THE finger to my other uncle. He's SUPER SUPER SUPER nice and I couldn't forgive myself for that. Then I wanted to **ehem ehem** Then my mom unlocked the door and said I got a call. I said I didn't want to answer, it was Fuzzy asking why I haven't logged in Audition. My mom said I was sleeping, so wadeva la.
I mean, it's SO ridiculous. When you marry my auntie, you marry her family. You marry her mom, her dad, her sisters, her brothers, her nieces, her nephews, her whole family. Her family is yours. Then if I did say something like that, HELL ask me about it lar! Go and ask me why I said that. Make me cry, make me repent, make me apologise. THAT'S reasonable. You break ties with whoever that has ties with me?? Well guess what, she's MY auntie! Breaking ties with her?!
HE called me lazy bones and won't do anything also. DID I BREAK TIES WITH HIM? NO! I just was like, my eyes went watery then that's it. I didn't hold any grudges. PLEASE LA, even a 14-year-old can think better than that person that is hanging around with my auntie. Hari raya oso don't want come to my granny's house, come then leave. Never say anything. HAHA!! Making me laugh. Let me give a little education for you, "Uncle"! They are NOT me! You don't teach your nieces and nephews how to hold grudges who is still young and not of age! You don't teach someone that breaking ties with your enemy and people that are close to her will make it hell alot better! Because it's NOT DUH! That is... childish thinking??! It's the same as... You fren her, I don't fren you. You make me laugh!
You know what makes it more funny?! He still asks my mom to take care of his son. FUNNY RIGHT??! Angry with me, don't ask MY MOTHER to take care of YOUR SON la! If YOU'RE angry with what I said, YOU come to me. Face to face, ask me what the hell my problem is! Don't be a fking coward and go away from me. THAT'S COWARDICE, MISTER! Even those people that hate me at school have guts to shove me something at my tagboard. You don't wait until someone tells my mom and tell me. That's JUST UTTER PURE COWARDICE! Angry with me?! Hate me?! SCOLD ME! MAKE ME CRY! CALL ME NAMES! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, SLAP ME! KICK ME! FKING THROW YOUR TANTRUM AT ME!
GRRR!!! I'm so MAD!!! I just wanna say. If he's angry with me, I'm the one he should take a fight with. Not my family, they have NOTHING to do with this. I want him to finish me off, and forget this problem existed. I was angry at him, I didn't do all this breaking ties stupid thing. I just thought positively, "I'll win his older son in his O lvl results". I don't know why a 43 year old man with 2 sons thinks like this. I'm HALF MAD AND HALF SAD. Sad coz of my family, mad coz of his attitude and actions.
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Now playing: Augustana - Boston (English)
via FoxyTunes
Monday, October 22, 2007
9:59 AM
long time haven't post =D Okay so yesterday, I was lucky. Get to ponteng [miss purposely] madrasah! heehee Madrasah is a muslim school and I attend one every Sunday. Since it was only to celebrate Hari Raya, I got lazy and didn't want to go. My mom said ok XD Then Fuzzy woke me up at... 10?! I was like O.Olll XD Ok, lol then play Audition.
After that I have to go Hari Raya-ing, we went to only 2 houses XD lame lor, first was my uncle's house. His TV was OMG~!! I couldn't help but "WAH!" when I looked at it. It's bigger than half of the wall behind it. It's like... the size of 3/4 sofas piled up. I think it's the BIGGEST TV the store sold XD Then when they were praying, my mom, my aunt and I went to the boy's room. OK, they have 3 guitars and 1 organ. BLIMEY! And one guitar is $400. 0.o And they are also a Harry Potter fan so I borrowed The Order Of The Phoenix book from my cousin ^_^" Lucky cause I just finished the 4th book the day before XD And all the books are from Bloomsbury O.O Not like the school's, so cheapskate. My cuzz only have books from the 4th year to the 7th. Then Shafiq, Ain and my younger cuzz, Nurul [she's actually supposed to be my kakak, according to ranking] were singing ALOT of songs and Nurul's bro played the organ/guitar to accompany the music. Was pretty fun, he asked me to play the guitar. NO! I haven't played for like...a month and my pick is still in the soundhole so I'm still not playing XD It was fun, then found out his school is so near to mine. Millenia Institute. Cool, the one I thought was the new Dunearn school XD
Then went to my neighbour's house. Pretty fun, but then we can't eat anymore **stomach full X.X** Ain ate a little and then can't eat anymore, then my Dad was like, "If you see a lot, then why you eat?" Then he blamed my mom for giving her the full plate, I was like WTH?! I said "Aper jer" Which meant what the hell, then both my parents stared at me. I just shook my head zzz but I was like, disagreeing la. At least she ate a bit rather than not touch the food at all. That's basic courtesy lor. then they put Vasantham channel, so we just watch lor XD haha, then went home. I had to iron the clothes. I was taking my time, singing songs like crazy, lol. Then realised it took me 1.5 hrs to iron 7 pairs of clothings XDDD haha then after that was too tired to do anything then sleep. LOL lucky today no school, can relax and chill. I told my mom to wake me up at 7. My usual sleepy state, so hard to wake me up. Then got a super good wake up call, my baby bro was playing around in my room, then he suddenly vomit. When I heard the sound, I just bolted out of bed! XDD haha good lor! XDD but other than that, today was boring. That's it lar...
P.S. Er... for the last time, I'm not punk =.=" Lame lor. I'm punkrockingeek. A geek/nerd that likes to listen to punk rock. I wanted to add punk rock and nerd together, but can't. So I changed to geek. Obvious? XDDD Some people just don't understand.
Friday, October 19, 2007
8:20 PM
100th post!
Life With No Regrets Episode 9
done with episode 9! Muhahaha it's pretty fun writing life with no regrets. Anyway, got news MY SCIENCE OVERALL PASS!!! YEAH HAHAHA!!! Thank God, without God this wouldn't have happened. So if everything goes well, I'll only fail my history **grins** I don't wanna think of History much, makes me cry T_T 3 more marks to pass!! Haixx don't care lar, then Ms Ho keeps saying why she thinks people fail. I studied for 3 weeks, did what she does in lessons, and guess what? I FAIL! But I can't blame anyone, maybe not my luck this year. oh well
Wanna say sorry to Fuzzy for not playing Audi. I had to shower first, then I go online on 5.30 =.=" lol sorry ><"
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Now playing: Bleach - Sen No Yoru Wo Koete
via FoxyTunes
Thursday, October 18, 2007
8:14 PM
Got my marks =) They're not so good, or some might say not good at all. But still, I wasted 3-4 wks for this. So, please. haha.. these are all over 100. n for the languages, it's only paper 2, i did some maths to make it over 100.
Maths : 59%
Malay : 67%
Geography : 64.5%
History : 47% T_T NOOOOO!!!
Science : 37% OK THIS TOTALLY SUX T_T
Home Economics : 77.5%
Literature : 68%
ATTENTION PEOPLE!! I'VE FINALLY MADE THIS CHAPTER STORY WHICH IS SO FAR, THE BEST WRITTEN WORK I HAD DONE! YOU MUST READ IT!
I must admit the first chapter bore you, but from chapter 2 onwards trust me it will be fun. you HAVE TO read it ok? MUST!MUST!MUST! At LEAST until episode 3 ok??? PLZ!!!!
Life Without Regrets Episode 1
Life Without Regrets Episode 2
Life Without Regrets Episode 3
Life Without Regrets Episode 4
Life Without Regrets Episode 5
Life Without Regrets Episode 6
Life Without Regrets Episode 7
Life Without Regrets Episode 8
MUST READ! PLZ U WON'T REGRET!!!!! JUST UNTIL 3 O.O[puppy eyes XD]
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
9:54 PM
Bad news tearing apart people's hearts
ok so good news spread fast and bad news spread faster so maybe all of you should know by now, that Fuzzy's bro recently passed away on 12 oct, the day before hari raya and also the day before her birthday. I didn't want to post about it but now, I think everyone knows and if I keep overlooking that topic, I might look like a moronic insensitive person who doesn't care about her bestie.
So here it goes, at about 6 something before breaking fast on Friday on the last day on ramadhan I had a call from her. She told me and cried. I, like Sameen, was stunned and didn't know what to do. All I could do was told her I was so sorry about the news and I was there if she needed comfort. So she hung up since she needed to break fast and called me soon after. I then told my mom, and we decided to go visit. They were reading some prayers for him and I couldn't gt it so I waited for the prayer to end. Then after, I came in and she hugged my mom first. Then she hugged me, I mean she cried and she was shivering. I just couldn't stand and I cried too, and I got to let go of her because if I kept hugging her, I would be crying so much and I would be like a goldfish like her too.
After that we went home since the silence to me was so hard to bear. We really didn't know what to say. My mom told me to tell some of her friends, to me it was best if she herself tell them but since my mom said so, I told Atiqah 2E1 and Wei Yi. They were both shocked and I wanted to know they wouldn't be so frightened and would take care of Fuzzy in case anything happens. The day after, she called me and wanted to see me again, but I can't since we had to go Hari Raya. I honestly was worried for her and wanted to be by her side and even if she needed to cry, I wanted to at least cry with her. But I can't, so I told her we could meet on Wednesday [tomorrow ^_^] where my mom approved of, so YEAH! haha I'm darned worried so seeing her would be a lot of relief for me.
I wanted to have a cake cutting for her with her friends now but lack of finances? haha if anybody really want to help, can sms me and we'll try and dig out as many "gold" we could xD On hari raya, I was too worried so I poured all my emotions into words, or more precisely a poem. I wrote it how I would feel if I was her, and hopefully I did well. I told her to read it when she's ready and she read it soon after, telling me she cried when reading it. Aw! Don't cry lar! T_T I just hope Fuzzy's ok from the shock. It was a huge shock and I really wanted to be there for her, but my parents kept wanting to go hari raya so I had no choice.
So now everyone knows. You might have read her story in the Berita Harian on 14th October 1st page or another english paper [forgot XD] on today i think dono which page. Please people, from here I realised why lives are so precious and fragile. I mean, last time I just wanted to die when something bad happens, but seeing Fuzzy and her family mourning for her brother made me open my eyes. Lives are not so precious if they weren't for your family and friends who would be SO HURT when you'll be gone, wishing you could still be there even if you aren't there anymore.
But now, what's done is done. We have our precious and fragile lives to take care of. We all know a death affects so many people and if you think death is just a problem-free contract then you all are mistaken. It's not so problem-free, maybe you will but what about the people who love you and your friends? You think nobody loves you? Well, then you're wrong. If you need someone to love you you could just meet someone in school, or even get to know me. I love each and every person I know[ ok this sounds sort of mushy] and I care for each and every one. Well, if I don't, then you're just some git XD For me, I would wanna live and tell my guy, "I'll love you and be beside you till death do us part". I would wanna know who would take me for who I am and couldn't be happier to spend the rest of his life with someone like me =)
Monday, October 15, 2007
10:09 AM
too many pics??haha
NOW FOR HARI RAYA PICS!!! I was thinking of making a slideshow video, but not now. So I'm just going to show all the pics, muhahahaha. My mom say I'm obsessed with taking pictures XD =.="
~12 OCT, DAY B4 HARI RAYA~
I'm cleaning my room.... ~before~
~AFTER~
~13TH OCTOBER, HARI RAYA~
Posing with Azami =D
Ketupat and lodeh hanged at the clothes hang where you hang underwears XD but there's no underwears when we hanged the ketupat and lodeh, of course XD
Ain wearing the lodeh stringy thing XD n the rest in thrash XD[the ketupat leaves pretty right??]
My mom taking off the leaves and cutting it into pieces
FOOD!!!! YEAH,EAT UP PEOPLE!! NO NEED TO PUASA ANYMORE WOOHOO!!
Showing off our nice pretty Hari Raya clothes ^o^
On the train to our first house. Shafiq is so lonely,so he hugged the pole. AWWW!!!
On the taxi Azami slept in his songkok.CUTE!!! And the bus,Azami sleeping...again XD
Me in my Grandma's house =D waiting for people to come...
~2ND DAY, 14TH OCTOBER~
My new hair ^^
Us in the bus...
We made a BIG mess under the table XD
Sunday, October 14, 2007
9:52 AM
ok I changed the song since it's HARI RAYA yeah people!!! But, I can't fix it fully yet so for now, bear with it XD this is so far my favourite Hari Raya song.... because IT'S SO SAD!!!Everybody's so happy when Hari Raya comes but this person feels grief when he sees everyone celebrating with their family when his parents are already gone. First time I heard this, I nearly cried. And since then, it has been my all-time favourite. I translated it for you people, but mind you my Malay pretty much sucks XD
Malay lyrics:
Bila tiba hari raya
Semua insan bergembira
Tetapi bagiku hanya kesedihan
Yang menyelubungi hidup
Ayah dan juga ibuku
Telah pergi selamanya
Terbiarlah aku ibarat musafir
Yang haus di padang pasir
( korus )
Siapakah yang sudi
Menghulurkan simpati
Kepada nasibku ini
Agar dapat kurasa
Nikmat di hari raya
Seperti insan yang lain
Ku meminta dan berdoa
Kepada Yang Maha Esa
Tabahkan hati berilah pedoman
Cahaya Di Aidil Fitri
English lyrics:
When Hari Raya comes
Every single muslim glimmer in happiness
But only sadness is filled inside me
That surrounds my life
My Dad and my Mom, as well
Has left me forever
Leaving me lonely and thirsty in the day
That I will get my judgement [these 2 lines are abit changed becoz if it's literally translated, no one would understand XD but the meaning is the same]
(Chorus)
Who would consider
To feel for me
For my unlucky fate
So that I could at least taste
How Hari Raya is supposed to be
Like all the other happy muslims
I pray and hoped
To God
To give me courage and guide me
To the light of Hari Raya
This song is called Cahaya Aidilfitri by Black Dog Bone. Cahaya Aidilfitri is Light of Hari Raya. This guy just wants to feel how it was like when his parents was still alive and he was having so much fun during Hari Raya. Aww so sad :'(
Selamat Hari Raya to everyone, now now don't be so gloomy because of the song =D it's pretty popular so I'm quite sure every single Malay person knows this song, or at least most XD
Friday, October 12, 2007
6:02 AM
zzz have a confession to make. I forgot my manners when i looked into this person's site >_<" haha but can't help it, actually because it sounds ridiculous, as in how the author uses her language, I just had to crack up XD When I told her about her language use, she said a big whatever... haha. now that's another thing to laugh about because whatever actually means anything that. So she was telling me anything XD ok lar, but I knew her use of that word, was just playing around with her, so obvious XDD So since I lost my manners when I looked into her site, I gave her a link here so she could check out my site. She can criticise it or whatever[remember, it means anything ^_^] and tag to make it even. And I'll be counter-attacking!!! haha that is IF she checks my blog and criticises about it. If she doesn't, then that's not my problem.
Well, she was talking bad about Fuzzy [ore no imouto] and Sameen [ore no ???? XD niece] and well, I think it isn't nice posting bad about your classmate, you know. I don't mind teachers XD coz I do it too and we're students, aren't that what we're supposed to do?? haha but classmates are like your family when you're in school, you know. That's how I think of it this year. It was totally different in the other years. Perhaps coz I think 2E2 this year is a lot nicer than 1E1 last years, at least to me lar. Anyway, back to topic. She was saying that Fuzzy was being bitchy and all that kind of stuff, and she wasn't satisfied with Sameen's looks.
One thing, Fuzzy was being that way [not bitchy,just offended and defending her own bestie] because she doesn't think it's practical to just look at someone's thighs, hair, nose, hands, you know what I mean XD It's logical in fact to look at someone's heart, feel someone's emotions and laugh at someone's... sillyness?? haha that's what real friends do. they laugh with you, laugh AT you, wanting to understand you and feel with you when you're down. Not having the slightess care if your nose is so big, or you're going bald, or anything like that. Who cares if you look like an ogre or a gnome?? haha only boys do, so if you're not of the opposite gender, I don't think you should care.
Perhaps, people just rub you the wrong way. Who cares? Live the life you want to, and don't care about all those things. Everybody has them. There are no such people where no one doesn't hate them, even Prophet Muhammad has people that hated him. I don't know about Jesus Christ, but the thing is there are ALWAYS people who hate you, so don't care. They just got nothing better to do. They just want something fun to do out of their boring ordinary lives [quoted from Mean Girls XD] and it's very mean to make a blog personally to share hatred. Hatred isn't to be shared, it's supposed to be disposed of. Even if you have them, it shouldn't be shared at all because you'll be hurting others' feelings. And hurting others' feelings will make you hurt yourself too. zzzz ok this is turning into a silly, boring, stupidly mature lecture XDD
I dono y i wrote so long, i guess becoz I'm soooooo bored and want to write as long as possible, so I expanded everythings use everything in long form. XDD It's just what I wanted to say, as a reader of this person's blog and as an oneechan and as an auntie[omg I sound old X.X]
Labels: criticising others is baaaad
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
1:41 PM
I was well, downloading loads of songs. And I heard this super nice song, and I just fell in love with it. It's called All The Same, Sick Puppies. It's so emotional[nt in an emo way] and sweet. Here's the part I can't stop singing...
Go ahead tell me you'll leave again
You'll just come back running
Holding your scarred heart in hand
It's all the same
And I'll take you for who you are
If you take me for everything
Do it all over again
It's all the same
It's just SO NICE!!! Now I'm being like Fuzzy, listening to the same song over and over again. the first part was a bit acoustic, but then it started to get rocky when it's ending. Awww loves it!!! And I've started to listen to more bands, like Relient K, The Fray, and Sick Puppies. Wow they're pretty good. I thought Relient K was a black singer and I thought "Wow first time I loved a black man singing. I liked all, but didn't love" Then found out they're a band, which I'm always into =.=" haha nvms.
2 MORE DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOHOOOOO haha Only homec and Art left. I WANNA PARTY!!!! XD haven't even over yet, just feeling so cramped up the last 2 wks. Then ytd night I just didn't study at all. just pretty much did a little work and slept early. Then the next morning I could finish the paper quite fluently, nt like other papers when my brain just goes "INFO OVERLOAD!!!" Guess I finally knew what it meant to "never study last minute" XD or burn midnight oil! hehe will do that next yr.
This yr streaming right? How? Got do your best not? hahas my humanities can go die [obvious i'm failing both XD] maths [paper 2 X.X paper 1, hopefully get gd marks], science[ oh my T_T], English [errr...??Hopefully I can get A. And hopefully I can beat Dini. MUHAHAHA!!! lol but she's a real tough one to beat], Homec [tmr? XD], Malay [oh please B or A], Art tmr, Listerature [C or A please] haha exams reflections. So, how am I going to do?? lol pray the best for me
Monday, October 8, 2007
7:27 PM
haven't had a nice decent post lately, this morning when I was revising my geography(i had no luck in this EOY, all i study don't come out at all.I nv study at all, have =.=") then read the post about the crazy day Fuzzy, Wei Yi, Dini, Derrick and I had. It was crazy, last Monday. Derrick with his red face keeps everyone cracked up and Wei Yi with his sarcasm makes everyone wanna smack him! lol You can go read Fuzzy's bloggie, it was really crazy... Derrick and Wei Yi had this slapping game going on where they slap each other with their poor Geography textbks. Pity pity, I wouldn't wanna be their geography books XD
Then I was benkyou-ing like crazy but still, had some laughter. Wei Yi and his freaky benkyou aura give me the creeps. I don't dare go near him, you'll feel all the stress and him trying so hard to immerse in his books XD Then Derrick became an annoyance to Wei Yi and the slapping game started!!! haha, well, then Derrick gotta go. While the boys were gone. Dini was playing with Fuzzy's mp4. Then she figured out the recording button. So Dini and I was trying to find the mic, then Dini pointed this part. Then we recorded and talked on the part Dini assumed was the mic, but then I figured it wasn't the mic, but the hole where you hang your hp straps XDD LOL then we found the REAL mic and talked talked. Say "hello" and crazy stuff. Then Fuzzy said "stop breathing in my mp4" I got insane and said "ohh watch me breath in your mp4 **breaths in mp4**" and I kept going insane. haha then Wei Yi came and Fuzzy told him "you missed the part where Shafiqah and Dini was raping my mp4" haha crazy lar. All of it was recorded, I hoped to upload it and let everyone listen, funny lar. [ Fuzzy has some technical difficulties transferring me the recorded WAV file because, she's a comp noob ^o^ and she cannot upload the audio by herself =.="]
Well, other than that was all benkyou and no audition XD not really lar, not all benkyou. Like it says, "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" XDD OK maths tmr, I'm gonna die. People pray for me XDDD then homec X.X omgosh omgosh my comp can't be used then I can't print my art pictures. NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! lol nooo, the world is toppling upside down >=(
Friday, October 5, 2007
8:48 PM
okay so um, went for a bit blog browsing after benkyou-ing for 5 days straight, living like some nocturnal animal XD Went to Fuzzy's blog, and there's like this so-big-nose person poking ard her blog, nothing to do insult her. Then Kimmy and me like, defended her larhs. Stupid person, go other people's blog just to share hatred. Don't they know, only good things should share? Even if I went to someone's else saying bad stuff abt me, it'll be a waste of my fingers' energy tagging at her blog, but in my blog's different becoz of coz lar, this is mine and i can do wadeva i want with it. =P at least i have some manners unlike some people to respect it's others' blogs and not mine. HAHA! And then I visitted Pinky Pie's blog, cud say my niece, and the tagboard is damn dangerous seh! lol Come to think of it, my tagboard is luckily haters-free n safe ^^ lucky seh... lol all i gotta say, hah total crap xD
