Tuesday, August 5, 2008
9:56 PM
back to blogging. hmmm maybe this blog will turn emo for a while, but no worries~! It'll be back and shining in no time~! I bet xD Ok by Hammy's request xDD
Jun: you didn't die becoz of the SS test right? xD eh gd tt u changed! Well, same for you too. If you've got some problem, just tell me or give me a call. You know I won't tell anyone. An advice is optional, if you can just listen it's ok too (: anws, you know I'm with you hors. If you got some problem, whether it's pai kia or just emotional, you can tell me. I might not be able to help, but I think just knowing someone is there for you makes it a whole lot better, right? Well, I'm here for you =D
XiaoXing: aiyoo tag more la~!!! must learn from jun, see she tag a lot i reply a lot. Hmph, I give you 4 sentences only. muhahaha!
thinking back, I was the girl wanting help, screaming at the top of my lungs (illiterally) I wanted people to care for me, I wanted people to help me in some way or another, yet I didn't know. There is only so much I did know. Without him, who knows I could still have been cutting until now, or worse. When I turn back time in my head, was it the right choice? Was there something I could've done differently? I don't know. I still don't know, but what I know is I don't need to find people to care for me. I don't need to when there are still these people surrounding me called "friends".
Piggy keep saying she wants me to be me. I think now I know. NOW I know why I've been changing myself from time to time. I always try to change myself, erasing all the flaws I can. Have you heard of PTSD? Check it out, coz you don't know if you got it. I realised I had it, I think I've "cured" but the way how I think of myself is still the same. That's why I wanna help people, I want to do all the best I could for others. I'm just like him, Naoto from Maou. Someone who's heart is scarred because of the sins done which are just unforgivable. Therefore he tries to be good, then maybe Kami-sama will forgive him. Inside, he'll just keep asking till he die "Have Kami-sama forgiven me?"Just like me.
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