Thursday, August 9, 2007
4:26 PM
BORING POST. DON'T READ IF YOU'RE SLEEPY COZ THIS IS TOTAL BORINGNESS
Dono y I so emo today, lol but try to be happy =D although it's like, something I hope won't happen is most likely to happen so I'm very worried. Can't tell anyone abt it tho, at least until it happened. Anw today is holidae~ Woke up at 10 xD then shower, play audi finished Jigoku Shoujo futakomori. Play game, eat then play com till now. I found the guitar chords for Alones but I suck at it, so whadeva. You have to change the chords like so fast lol. Maybe I'll write another emo poem and get out all my emoness in me!!! haha, I hate to be emo sometimes but when you're emo, you're just so true to yourself, instead of being happy while everything just sucks and you just don't wanna live anymore lol. Now like,
you know how it's like when you just don't feel like breathing and you just wanna stare at the ceiling not wanting to do anything at all but there you are getting ready for the day ahead of you? I felt like that this morning, I just don't wanna go through today.I just want to look at the white ceiling and think what I should do, what's happening to me and all that. I just wanna do a lot of reminiscing, but I can't. I just get a shower and go through today like every other. Sometimes life just sucks, and sometimes life is just everything you wanted. But what I know is everybody would want to know what they're for, because if they don't they just will live life helplessly. Sometimes you imagine yourself slitting your neck, shooting your head off, cutting off your body parts and it freaks you out. You just don't wanna look but that always keeps playing in your head. You keep asking yourself if you deserve it, because inside you you just don't wanna feel all that pain gushing through you when you do that. Then at that time you just feel so selfish, not wanting to do what you deserve because you're so afraid of the pain and death. Then you get confused and don't know what to do. Start throwing tantrum everywhere like it's your world and no one up there is watching.
haha my emo-stuff again. If you do feel like that, then you'd know how it feels like to see your family so happy without you and so needless for you. alright, there's not much to blog today anyway. Jana~
Labels: I'm nowhere to be near sane, my life sucks not... bt y m i so sad, someone is always worse off than you, The sun will never shine on me like it did yesterday
