Tuesday, July 3, 2007
4:55 PM
just writing crap...
Just got back from Hwee Bin's house, then shower. Let's see today, got Assembly phew didn't ps myself then these New Zealanders came so quite fun. Made Spaghetti Bolognaise YUM! hehe... Then Fuzzy call me. She's in ♥ lol... Then she say she love me. If you don't know, I recited another poem, and it's sucky but I did it for the meaning. And she said "Nvm I love u wad =)"
So Fuzzy, if you love me take care of yourself lar. sleep at 10pm, and be happier. If you love me, then you'd want me to not worry too much so don't be so sad lar, I know you're sad. But in every sadness there's a sun, only if u can find it. haixx just saying cuz I rlly dono wat to say, aku da ckp sampai mulut berbuih so I'm just saying this, if u rlly love me, then stop doing this to yourself.
When I was showering, I asked myself why am I so sad today and not like the cheerful me? I wrote using my finger with water on the wall :Kyo, Fuzzy, Myself and my friends. Kyo, haixx dono lar. We just can't leave this hanging, can we? Fuzzy, haixx worry me lar u ni. Tidur sampai lambat2, haf migrane some more, tidur lambat lagi ar. Baka, you have me yet you keep thinking you're by yourself. :( My friends, let's see Dini and Siyi lar. You guys have problems but don't want tell me lor. Nvr trust me huh? Haixx... I have ears you know, I can listen and if I try to tell you my story, just slap me (= Myself, I ask myself Kill me?Drown me? Hurt me? Make me miserable? Haixx... feel like killing myself, stupid right. Nk bunuh diri sendiri buat aper. Baka me baka me baka me, entah ar like I can't take this anymore. I wanna cry becuz Kyo is doing this to me, Fuzzy is so miserable and Dini/ Siyi keep bullying me. Dunno usually I don't mind, but today I feel so fucked up abt it. Today, I feel like screaming to them to stop irritating myetoday becuz I have enough irritation for today. But I kept it cool, I just rest my head on the table and forget it. If I keep looking at them I'll break down liao. I already wanna cry, but I blink blink then put up a happy face and don't look at the dark side. They will give me my things back, it always happen. It's not their fault anyway, it's me because everyday they bully me and I rlly don't mind in fact I like it. But today don't know lar.
I'm so mad at myself oso. becuz I feel I wanna cut again. STUPID ME!!!! ARGH, I keep telling myself "fuck u lar. Cut for what. Stupid right, cutting for nothing. Stop it ar, like this better if you kill yourself. Stop this fking shit lar!" Haixx.... Damn, I don't wanna fking cut >_< Shit this feeling can overtake me sia. Better throw all knives and scissors outta my room before it controls me.
Labels: I don't want to be emo, i dono wad to think anymore, i must never cry, it is all my fault, mcr avril akon dead suicide crazy stupid
