Saturday, June 2, 2007
12:29 PM
Tell me how you feel..
I thought my relationship with him is a close book,nothing but memories. But my cuzzie just told me something I would've never thought my ex would do for me. I didn't save the msg but he said Kyo was doing all of this for me, coz I was young and he wasn't ready. And I have no right to hate him. He said Kyo didn't reply to my msg coz his prepaid was low and he didn't want me to get in trouble so he didn't communicate with me anymore. That was about it, let me get this straight.
Kyo, I don't hate you. I would never hate and love someone at the same time. I was disappointed. Why didn't you tell me you didn't gave me any msg becuz you didn't want me to get in trouble? You could tell ur gd fren. I felt cheated, you just left me with a msg and let me rot there alone. I love you, and I trusted you a lot. Why didn't you tell me? I know I'm young, and I know you're not ready. I know, and it's perfectly fine for me if you could be just my friend. I'd prefer that actually. But you didn't message me for so long, I thought you've forgotten about me. But I didn't believe on tt thought, I stood strong. I didn't tell anyone that I still love you deep down, that I miss you so bloody much. I didn't tell anyone you were the only guy I met who I've really loved. But that doesn't matter doesn't it? It's ok if you don't love me anymore. It's ok if you don't miss me anymore. I was just disappointed. I thought our relationship would last longer than that. I didn't know. I didn't know you didn't message becuz of my cuzzin brother.
I missed you, alot. I trusted you so much, I gave you so much hope, and it was all shattered. It was shattered by one msg, the msg that has no feelings in it. I don't feel any sadness, happiness, grief or anything when I read it. I was numb, SO NUMB! Do you expect me to not feel any sadness when you just leave me like tt with one SMS and nothing else after abt 2-3 mths? I'm not emotionless, I started to hate you. But I keep trying not to. I keep trying not to hate you, but I am already numb. I don't know what to feel, I don't know what I should feel, so I tried to forget you, I made myself forget you. Whenever I thought of you, I'll keep myself busy. I don't know about you. I don't know if you're having the time of your life or not. If you ever read this, my phone line's still available till 5/6 June. Now, I don't know if I still love you anymore. I don't know if I still miss you anymore. You meant a lot to me, but I don't know if you still are. I'm sorry I thought this way, but you should've told me the truth from the beginning.
And Ghost, thanks for the info. But it might be too late, to save anything now.
When you're gone, I miss you. When you're gone, I need you. But are you the one for me?
\
Labels: why am i crying now
