Tuesday, June 5, 2007
9:54 AM
It just sucks when everything's down
hehe didn't post for quite some time, no mood lar. Everything's down now. I don't really wanna talk about the anonymous Anonymous thingy today,I'll do it some other time, I hope. Since I don't rlly have anything I want to write and don't want my blog to die, lols I'll write about my time when I had cancer. Nono not the cancer that kills you in the next 3 mths or something, this cancer is not serious. It was when I was primary 5, you know that was the time of the heelys. You know the little wheel in the shoe. Yea I have a pair of that, rlly cool thing. I was having fun skating and rolling here and there,lol. Then I fell. PIAK! It was a hard hard fall on concrete floor. I knew something happened, but I just kept quiet. When we got home, I tasted blood in my mouth and found a hole at the back in my mouth. I told my mom, she said "Oh, it's nothing. Go and sleep" So we all forgot about it. A few months later, my right jaw started exploding. haha not exactly exploding, expanding and expanding. It keeps expanding and the growth is really rapid. My family noticed it really well and reccomended my mom to bring me to the doc. My mom said the same excuse "Oh, it's nothing. We'll go to the doc next week or so" So my right jaw keeps expanding, till I myself noticed. haha no, I didn't notice till then. I was 10(going to 11) whad'ya expect? lol we went to Jurong Polyclinic, and the doctor was examining with a weird look.
...abt 8pm...
Doc:Hmm(holding my right jaw)It's hard,not slimy or soft.(holds it more effortly) Does it hurt?
Me:No. Not hurting at all. It's the same feeling as before. It just keeps growing.
Doc: This is weird. I have never seen anything like this. I think you should be directed to the Hospital tonight. You have to come to the Hospital tonight,ok?
Me: Err...ok. But why tonight?
Doc:If it's something serious, I'm not taking responsiblity,my dear.
So that's about it, rlly quick check in the Jurong Polyclinic. We went to NUH, as instructed. When we reached there, we had to take temperature and all that. It was the SARS season, I hated it. So I just took the temperature, write whatever in some paper, and went in the A&E. It's an emergency place where selected people get to cut the queue and have these more specialised doctors to check you. I went in, there were 2/3 more people. And coincidentally, this gerl had almost the same name as me, Syafikah. My name is Shafiqah. It was cool, she was alot older than me so we didn't talk so much. When it was my turn, I had to take multiple X-Rays.
Then we waited outside until the doc asked me and my mom to come in his room.
...11 something pm...
Doc:This is so weird. Look at this.
He puts the X-Ray gray plastic thingy on the lighting thing where you can stick the X-ray plastic and it's a lot easier to see.
Doc:You see this(pointing to my lower right jaw) there's a tooth sitting on your lower jaw. It must have fallen or something like that. And see around it, is cancer tissues.(the tissues are hard to see as X-Rays are to see bones,lol)It's a tumour. That's why it's expanding rapidly, because it's a cancer and you're young. You're growing rapidly,and cancer does too. So it has triple speed from usual men having this. Problem is, your lost tooth is sitting on a vein. We won't have much problem taking out the tumour,if it's not too big so we have to do it fast. But your tooth is what troubles me, if the surgeon didn't do it gently, you won't be able to feel anything on your right jaw. Your right jaw will be paralysed, for your whole life. It's not confirmed if it's cancer or not, so you can go home now. come back tomorrow, in the dental department. There'll be a professor waiting for you there.
And we left. On my way home, my mom asked me "Hey issit because of your Heelys that caused your tooth to drop that far?"Yeah she was right. No wonder there was blood, and a hole. It was too much information for one night, and I can only understand half of what he said. Lucky coz I didn't freak if I got it now, I'll freak a lot. We came tomorrow, and I can skip school that day yay! lol so we went, I thought the professor was going to be someone young coz I haven't known about the years of education the person took to get the name of Professor. There was this quite old guy. First impression was so off,haha. I was being cute coz I'm 11 and it's a weird occasion to have a girl that young in the dental department. But he has being scary and stern. Scary dude. I went there with my Dad. That scary prof asked my Dad to bring me to the dental X-Ray where they only X-Ray your teeth and jaw of course. It was funny, you have to grin and these things will go around you scanning. haha. then we went back to the prof room. He checked me, asked if it hurts like always. As I always say, "No". Then he asked my Dad if there was anything weird about yesterday night that made us go to the doc. My Dad said "No, we just picked a date. It was a long time ago since we've noticed. We just didn't think it'd be that serious" So he said that the next meet, he'll confirm if it's a cancer or not. Like I care, haha I didn't know a difference of getting cancer or not.
The next meet, it was confirmed that I had cancer. It's called "amoelo blastoma" or something haha. It didn't matter much to me tt time, I had to be checked every week for nothing. LOL keep doing X-Rays until they stopped saying there'll be side effects if they took any more. It was pretty horrible, I had to stop in school time and go to the hospital. It sucks coz everybody get to have fun after school and I have to spend with this old guy, but he gets nicer and nicer appointment by appointment. I get more nervous appointment by appointment lol. They have to take my blood so I said ok. The syringe was huge! It wasn't that huge but it's huge for a syringe. I was going to lack of blood if I had to fill that thing. They were finding my veins, which was hilarious. When they found one and wanted to put alcohol, the vein disappeared. The same thing happened over and over again. It was so funny I was laughing haha. Then they decided to take the vein that was appearing obviously on my hand. You know if you work a lot, veins will appear so they took one of those. It was pretty cool looking at my blood, not so hurting. There were dental students there and as they pass by, they saw how young I was. Then they were saying things like "Don't look don't look" and "Pain or not?" haha I wanted to look coz it was cool and it doesn't hurt, a lot. It hurts a bit.
On 13th February 2004, it was my operation day. The big day. I'm not allowed to eat anything. Then we went straight to the hospital and reached at 8am. They gave me these robes which are so ugly. Slippers which are big, and even underwear which is disposable. So I had to be in the operation theatre alone, so scary. I see unconscious people being moved here and there. Really scary. Then this lady comes and asked some questions and I just answered bilndly. haha. Then we went in. Let me tell you, IT IS FREAKINGLY SCARY! I was still 11, no parents and when I came in there were like 20 people all staring at me like an alien when I think they looked weird with the hair nets and gloves and all that. One woman came to me openned my robe and put those things on my chest and asked me to lie on the bed. I wasn't wearing any BRA!!! haha. You know in the toilet there are those round things you use so that the hangers or whatever will stick on the toilet walls right? Yea it was something like that. They stick those things on my chest. Then they made me wear this mask with a balloon. haha not exactly just like a balloon. The mask where it only covers your nose and mouth, I was told the gas in the balloon attached to the mask will allow me to sleep easily. It was nice. Really nice. Then they poke this needle in my left wrist. And injected sleeping medicine or something. I felt the liquid running in my body. When it reached far enough, I was already dozing. I didn't even realise it.
What happened was they dug a hole in my mouth and took out the tumour. Then the tooth, rlly rlly rlly carefully.
When I woke up, I was so dizzy. It was like you ate 10 panadols and pass out. Then I was on the movable bed. They moved me out of the operation theatre, then came my parents. We went to my ward. Ok the ward thing is so funny. They took me to this 4-bed room with tvs on each bed. It was great and each ward has a toilet. COOL! Then I wanted to get in the bed when they say "Oh sorry. You're not 16 yet(wth I'm 11 hello??)you have to move to the children's wards" Awww sad I wish I could stay in that ward, so fun and luxurious. I was brought to the children's ward. VERY VERY VERY noisy, and quite childish for me but I don't mind. Then this doctor who's kind of a relief of the professor came and check. It was ok, so he said "soft diet" I HATE SOFT DIET!!!! TILL NOW I HAVE THIS THING AGAINST SOFT DIET!IT STINKS! It makes my life so plain and ruined. Then I was given dinner. Is tt even dinner? Sloppy porridge where you taste nothing, fish curry that tastes like liquidish sand. EEEwww since that day, I hate hate hate hate hate soft diets. I didn't eat anything. Then they inserted liquid starch bottle thingy. They wire it using tubes form the bottle hung up to my left wrist. Remember when the operation was starting this person stuck in a needle? yea they inserted the tube there. It was ok, then I had my period haha funny. The next day I was released. WHEEE!
We went to my Grandma's house. Everyone was there. I was given, PORRIDGE AND FISH CURRY! I taste nothing!!!It was so bland. PUKE!!!!! I rlly hated the food I was forced to eat. 1 whole wk of the same thing, I was rlly dying haha. I wanted chicken! And all that. I had to eat pills. I don't mind the pain-killer it's nice but everything else tastes bad.lol Then after 2 wks, I went to school. The next week is CA1, so my teacher said I can VR on everything and I don't need to come to school in exam period. It was fun..
In they operation they stuff the hole with gauge. You know the white cotton thingy yea. They dug a hole and took my tumour and tooth out, so the hole is big. They stuffed it with gauge. Then they wanted to cut off the stitches they stitched it was painful becuz my gum has grow on the stitches but they had to. So it was painful,very painful. How do you feel when your gum's been cut?haha yea it ws like that blood ooze out, and no numbing medicine is used. PAIN! I was young, I thought those are little cockroaches in my mouth.haha y? Becuz the gum is like the body of the cockroach and the stitches are like the legs. I thought the cockroaches are flooded by my blood, that's y it's red. lol funny my Dad laughed at me. haha. The next week, they wanted to take off the gauge. Had to cut some parts becuz the gum grew on the gauge lol. Pain but it's ok, the gauge is a long thick string. They radius of tt thing is ike 2cm. It was long. As long as about 1-2 metres. The prof took one end and pulled. I see red thick string coming out haha. The proff said "magic show.Shafiqah can take out a long string out of her mouth" haha. It's red becuz of blood, otherwise it's white. haha they just stuffed that thing in my hole. lol
That's about the experience with my Cancer. It made me suffer, til now. I have to visit the prof once in a while becuz Cancer means it can some again anytime. So I still have to take X-Rays. I hate it. Make my eyes hurt. Oh well..some experience I can never forget. =)
Labels: my cancer tragedy
