Tuesday, June 26, 2007
8:47 PM
^^
To PB: yea I kno u'd say tt. I know someone will reply. At least I hoped ^^ I don't need to know I suck, just need to know why and how to not suck lol.
Second day of school, normal unlike ytd. ZZzZzZzZ After school, went to Siyi's house. Had lots of fun there, well if u don't know I'm scared of cats, dogs, hamsters and pretty much pets. But I don't mind rabbits, ants, bees XD and butterflies LOL but becuz of "human force", I stepped up to it and let a CUTE hamster on my hand. Hey it took alot of courage you know,hee, for me at least. It was rlly cool, then we did history. okok then went home. Thought about a lot of things, a lot of reminiscing. Siyi's been complaining abt me writing poems way too much ><" yes i know sry I'm not anm hehe. Wanting to try trickster, duno how is it yet. Today pretty depressing becuz EVERYBODY is and it's affecting me...haixx, if only people were perfect,then I'd be perfect too. If only life would have more peace, I'd be peaceful as well.
If I think myself as a bad person and a horrible girl, does that make me better? Can I really change myself and get a better life? Will the tears I sacrificed bring me anything back in return? Is it right for me to have a bit of self-respect? Does anything benefit when I tell myself I suck?
Truth is I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY don't know what you guys want. What do you want??????? Anonymous/anonymous told me to have a bit of self-respect, and I agree. Got a bit of it, but since it haven't developed it got destroyed easily by someone saying "you suck" yea it's not a big deal I don't cry abt it or get depressed over it(i'm depressed over something else XD) just that I'll hate myself more =X but it's ok, you don't need self-respect to survive and I can always build it up once I recovered =)
Shoving off the pain couldn't handle the suffer,
Cry and cry tears couldn't cover,
The sorrow and disappointment I alwaes feel,
When someone despies me and made me seal,
From the world just can't get out now,
For I'm cold and numb from the misery just can't now.
Labels: someone is always worse off than you
