Saturday, May 5, 2007
11:11 AM
so happy tt time..happy tank empty now
ok so the post 2 days ago was so lively, so happy. Now so sad and depressed again. Hmm, weird lar. I oso dono, I started getting all moody ytd. Like there's no reason for life, and suicide is a permanent answer to a temporary problem. Tts what I keep telling myself n self-abuse is no option. Even if I'm here in this big world, there'll be no difference if I'm not. If I'm here, if I'm not here, ppl still move on. Ppl still are happy with their lives, sometimes happier. So what am I here in this world for? Why am I wasting my time alive when I have no reason to? Haixx, I don't wanna live like this anymore. I liked the happy me, the me that appreciated life and look forward to the sunrise. The me now, is the me that wants to stop everything and end it all, but I won't get to know how it's like living a full grown life, I'll just be able to live till 14. Sad, but everything sucks now. There's no reason for me to still be here now. Nobody appreciated me being there, so fuck y am I being there still?This is no fucked up world, it's a paradise with one fucked up person. Me. Ok so maybe your life is worse than mine, but my life ain't perfect. I go home straight from school, and reach home abt 3. Then change and play laptop till 6, shower n take siblings then go home continue playing till 11 then sleep. Sucking life?haixx, and I alwaes get scolding for everything, but I accept. I just told myself I deserved it and took everything in. Sometimes I go home at 4-6 after going to Lot 1, then will kana scold right after reaching home. The problem, I don't get to communicate with people. I mean, talk to others about my problems. Do you know abt my problems?Nahs, coz I neva tell them to anyone, the minor ones sometimes I tell. but neva the major ones. I take all the pain and grief locked in me, I can't express myself with words so I don't even bother telling anything to others. haixx, bt other's life are more important than mine, and my purpose to live is only to make other's life better than mine. You think your life sucks?Wait everybody thinks that way, including me. So who has the most sucking life?No one, I mean not any of you who's reading this right now. The ppl who have the most sucking life, are the ppl living with poverty.(general info stuff in the next par.)
Take a minute of your life to think, is it fun to wake up on the solid ground and shower in the lake without soap, then do the laundry with ur own hands, while your parents do other stuff, you go to WORK? Woah n I thought my life sucks. Well, my life doesn't suck huh?N yours doesn't too. It's great that you get to shop, wear proper clothes, shower anytime you like and get either air-con n fan with a comfy bed for u to snore in. Apparently, I think you have too many good things you can't even think of one, but you have so little bad things you can just list them down. so start thinking of the kids out there =D who have to deal with stuff we don't even deal with. and btw, their "shoes" are flattened plastic bottles.
Labels: my life sucks not... bt y m i so sad
